The Fourth Trimester: What No One Tells You About Life After Birth

They say the hardest part of pregnancy is giving birth, but what they don’t tell you is that the real journey begins afterward. The fourth trimester—the first three months postpartum—is a rollercoaster of healing, sleepless nights, overflowing emotions, and figuring out who you are now as a mother.

I remember thinking I was prepared. I had read all the books, watched all the videos, and stocked up on postpartum essentials. But nothing could have fully prepared me for the reality of those first few months.

Your Body is Healing—And It Takes Time

I thought I’d bounce back faster. I figured if I just rested a bit and took my vitamins, I’d feel like myself again. But healing from birth—whether vaginal or C-section—is no joke. Your body has been through something massive, and recovery isn’t linear. Some days, I felt fine. Other days, I’d cry because my stitches hurt, my hormones were wild, and I was beyond exhausted.

If you’re in this phase now, be kind to yourself. Rest whenever you can. Say yes to help. Your body is incredible, and it just created life—give it grace.

Emotions are Intense (And That’s Normal)

One moment, I’d stare at my baby in awe, overwhelmed by love. The next, I’d cry because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. Postpartum hormones are no joke, and the emotional ups and downs are real.

If you feel overwhelmed, talk about it. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or therapist—you don’t have to do this alone. And if your emotions start feeling too heavy, please reach out for help. Postpartum depression and anxiety are real, and seeking support is the strongest thing you can do.

Sleep is…Complicated

I knew newborns woke up often, but I didn’t realize how much that lack of sleep would affect me. There were nights when I felt like a zombie, rocking my baby in the dark, wondering if I’d ever sleep again.

The truth? It does get better. It takes time, but slowly, your baby will start sleeping longer. In the meantime, nap when you can, ignore the dishes, and survive however you need to.

Your Identity Will Shift

One of the hardest parts of the fourth trimester is figuring out who you are now. You’re still you, but also, you’re different. You’re a mom now, and that changes everything.

But here’s what I’ve learned: You don’t lose yourself in motherhood—you evolve. It’s okay to grieve your old life while embracing this new chapter. Give yourself time to adjust, and remember—you are more than just a mom.

The fourth trimester is hard, but it’s also beautiful. It’s raw, messy, exhausting, and full of love in ways you never imagined. And if no one else has told you this today—you are doing an amazing job.

XO, Lili